MY CLIT ON HERS

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Yet if he came first, sex was over. She finds it painful to continue after she orgasms, but she often pushes through anyway, sometimes faking an orgasm later.


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Elizabeth also has stopped orgasming prematurely since going on Effexor, part of a similar drug class called SNRIs. Elizabeth says this helped her learn to manage her orgasms.

Amy Baldwin, a somatic sex and relationship coach for the wellness app Juicebox , certified sex educator, and founder of the podcast Shameless Sex , recommends edging, or masturbating almost to the point of orgasm and stopping, for as long as you can, then showing your partner how you do it. Queen advises figuring out if a particular sexual act or position triggers premature orgasms and avoiding them if you want to last longer.

Hitting the A-Spot Feels so Good - VICE

Layla recently got up the courage to tell a partner to slow down and be gentler, which helped her delay orgasm. Solution : Watch how much you drink before attempting sex and drink plenty of water to help counteract the dehydration. Thoughts can push you out of the moment and keep you from enjoying the sensations that could get you to come. Maybe you feel shame about sex due to your upbringing. Maybe you are hesitant to let your guard down and be vulnerable.

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Whatever the distracting thoughts are, they make it almost impossible to orgasm. Solution : Tackle the road block. For simple distractions, you can eliminate them before sex.

Write down your to-do list to get it on paper and out of your head. Try some deep breathing exercises or guided meditation to get your thoughts focused on the moment at hand. Remove any distraction you can. Some roadblocks do take more time to conquer, such as removing shame surrounding sex. A therapist can be a valuable resource for empowering you to overcome those deeper rooted roadblocks.

Let us say that again: Sex should never be painful. But if you repeatedly experience pain during sex, speak to your doctor immediately. You could be suffering from a diagnosable issue, such as endometriosis. Pinpointing the cause is the first step in either managing or treating your symptoms, which helps put you on the path to relief! Without enough lubrication, what should be pleasurable can become uncomfortable or even painful. Naturally, this is not conducive to coming.

Solution : Lube up! Yes, you are getting naturally wet as you get turned on. All the thrusting motions can make you aware that you need to pee, which takes you out of the moment and makes it harder to reach that moment of release. Why it's an issue : Sometimes, you're just not feelin' it. And that's totally okay. It's important to remember that everyone, at some point, experiences a dip in their sex drive.

And often, it has nothing to do with your romantic, emotional or physical attraction to your partner.

Hitting the A-Spot Feels so Good

In fact, if you have a cervix, you also have a posterior fornix! I enjoy the sensations both spots give me, but some people only like one or the other. But as a vulva-owner who has always been a size queen, the A-spot is just as yummy to me as the G-spot… maybe even more yummy. I emailed with my fellow educator Kate Sloan , who is also a sex journalist and A-spot enthusiast , about her first encounter with this satisfying spot.

She discovered hers around the age of 19 after having had pleasureless penis-in-vagina PIV intercourse, much like myself. Sloan researched different techniques for making PIV more pleasurable, such as the Coital Alignment Technique , a method that suggests vertical penetration and thrusts to maximize clitoral stimulation.

It was during this period that she discovered her A-spot. After I figured that out, I started experimenting on my own with sex toys that could reach that spot, and doing a lot of reading about it. Sloan cites Dr.


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  • Like Sloan, sex educator and pleasure coach Glamazon Tyomi discovered her A-spot while with a partner. The increase in wetness would also come with a warm, calming, euphoric feeling across my body, and I noticed that it would happen with deep penetration near my cervix I knew this wasn't something that was commonly experienced or discussed, so I began to do research. Tyomi finds the discourse surrounding the A-spot to be lacking.

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